im not really a jump-on-the-bandwagon kinda girl but here i am at home with some time on my hands and a computer. it would be kinda stupid of me NOT to start blogging, right? well im not entirely sold but im giving it a whirl. of course, once i decided to ramble on, i had to decide what type of totally pretentious blogger i would be. i cook so i could go that route; im at home with two young boys so i could do one of those mommy blogs; im an american studies major so im sure i could do something with that…but blogs that i read are not really blogs i wanna write. so here is my just-pulling-outta-the-station post about awkward shit that makes me laugh or crazy weird things that keep me up at night.¬†first stop, bloop, the most recent thing to keep me from drifting to dreamland during that super critical moment when i realize both my husband and my baby are asleep.

and so here’s the deal. the united states navy set up a hydrophone array during the cold war to listen for any soviet subs. since then, the US national oceanic and atmospheric administration (NOAA) has been using these systems to listen to pods of humpback whales play freeze tag or mega-earthquakes or some shit like that. but every once in a while, they hear something really nuts. like bloop, which is this ultra-low frequency, super powerful hiccup. this noise was picked up on sensors 5,000km apart, so that’s pretty crazy loud. way louder than a blue whale. loud like maybe an earthquake or a huge part of antarctica falling off into the ocean or something. and in fact, there’s been a bunch of these unexplained sounds that seem to have environmental answers…like one called slowdown, which reoccurs a few times every year and matches up to sound spectograms of friction. they think that’s probably the sound of shifting ice. but bloop, orignating in the pacific ocean off of the southern tip of south america, doesn’t match up with the audio profiles of man-made sounds like subs or bombs or geological ones either. this one sounds distinctly…animal. some crazy ass undiscovered animal that burps loud enough to be heard half way across the pacific.

Colossal Squid Caught in 2007: Scientists think this guy is a smaller one. No lie.

now seriously since its only been heard during the summer of 1997, im kinda thinking that’s a pretty long vow of silence for the animal kingdom…but we’ve all heard those statistics about how little of the oceans have been studied. and you only have to check out a picture of the humpback anglerfish or a video of a pack of humboldt squid cannabalizing one of their own to know that what we do know is scary as hell. so its certainly not outta the question that some kind of haunt-your-dreams mega kracken is down there just waiting for us to really start exploring.

and i call bananas on that shit.